I'm tempted to fly out to Maryland, and spend a few weeks with my friend Josh. Get away from this mess and figure out where I am in this life once more.

I still haven't gotten back to the person I used to be before there was Dominic/Jesus, nor do I think I ever will. And I'll be the first to say he really fucked me up, but I could have ended that relationship so long ago and I know I'm only as messed up as I am now because I let him do it. However; I'm hoping that with what Josh pointed out to me the other day I can finally just move on...
I know I've been trying to convince myself I have but I know damn well in the back of my head I'm re-living every minute of that hell hole of a life I had with him and obessing over whether or not thats how my next relation will be or if whoever I'm with is just another Dominic/Jesus.

With that said, I know Josh said somethings to me because he cares... But it still hurt hearing them. I suppose in the long run in I had to hear them from anywhere I would have rather heard them from him though.

I'm also not on the best terms with my parents. I never have been though.

Recently they started doing the whole chore list thing again. And of course I have more chores then Sean, and harder ones at that yet even with the Flu I can get them done and he can't.
Well we're suppose to get forty bucks every two weeks. I've been getting twenty... So a bit irk with that.

A top of that, we were in the Pet Shop this weekend while they had a Pet Adoption Agency in. Mom pointed out a eight month old Yellow Lab x Smooth Collie mix, Who would have grown to be bigger then our male Otter who is Black Lab x Boarder Collie mix. Half an hour after spoiling her with pets and kisses I said we should bring her home with us, and my mother agreed.
So I shot my father a picture message and a text asking if I could and how she would be my dog and I would take care of her just like my chinchilla (I paid for him, I buy all his stuff he's my responiblity and no one elses) and ultimately she could be my birthday present. So he called me up, and was okay with it and the second he okayed it my mother didn't like the idea anymore..

Shes a fricken SOB. The entire way home all she told me was I can pick out our next dog with my dad when she finally puts Honey down.
She's been putting that off for two years now... The dogs got bad hips and is nearly blind. She snaps at people and our other two dogs and its just a matter of time before she or someone else get hurt. But my mom can't bring herself to do it because she was born the night my Oma died.

Onwards...

Tired of messing things up, with everyone. My Friends, Brittnee (yes she's her own category), Rob, Shawn, My Parents and Siblings, people in general...

I'm back to finding solace in animals... I can get it from people but I dont know it takes a bit for me to accept it.









I remember going to Europe a few summers back... There was maybe five of us who knew about Owl City, and now everyone knows. I hate that I stop liking things when they become trends, but once their not so popular again I'll be able to enjoy his music..
Plus how ironic is it that my Fursona has violet eyes? Heh...